Feel Like A Boss: How Confidence Was Rediscovered Through Hypnotherapy

Most people think hypnosis is for stage acts and purely for entertainment purposes. The remaining tiny minority thinks it’s great but only for mental illnesses. Hypnotherapy has far more applications than you can imagine.

Think of hypnotherapy as a Swiss army knife for mental surgery. Everything we do comes from a thought, and the thought originates in the mind. The desire to eat chicken rice for lunch and the need to exercise first thing in the morning all begin in the mind.

A Decades-Long Limiting Belief On Relationships

Jared (not his real name) came to work on his limiting belief. As someone who self-reflects frequently, he’s highly aware of the thoughts racing through his mind. Like many of us, he’s unable to control a limiting belief about beautiful women.

Deep down, he believed that he didn’t deserve to be in a happy and committed relationship with someone beautiful. He believed that beautiful women came with baggage or the good ones were already taken. It’s irrational which means it’s not the rational conscious mind that thinks this way. The subconscious mind is the prime suspect.

Armed with a clear understanding of the issue, I guided Jared into his safe space. Soon he found himself lounging on a beach chair by a condominium swimming pool. It was night time.

Jared The Invisible Teenage Boy

The subconscious mind instantly transported him back to his teenage years.

In the corner of the classroom, he watched longingly as the popular kids surrounded the belle of the ball, clamouring for her attention. The kids glanced condescendingly at him, making him feel like an outcast from the pariah class.

Mikhail Nilov / Pexels

In his mind, he knew that his beautiful crush would never love him back. There and then, the first seed of a belief system was planted in his mind. It was a belief that he’d never be able to date beautiful girls in his life. Later on in life, he would have huge challenges in asking beautiful women out.

Using a therapeutic intervention known as Inner Child Therapy, I led Jared to relive two other episodes in addition to the belief-forming event. If the belief from the first event is written in pencil, the remaining two events write it in pen and then engraves it in stone. Repeated events of a similar signature concretises the belief that make it hugely challenging to undo.

In the second scene, he led a class group for a Romeo & Juliet play. Who would’ve guessed? His crush was assigned to his group. Needless to say, he played Romeo and she was Juliet. In kissing scene, they got very close but never did kiss and it pained him that she didn’t want to look at him. He felt resigned to his fate. The belief is written in pen.

The third scene was at a class chalet. His crush had brought her boyfriend and when he caught sight of them, he knew she’d never love him back. The belief is carved in stone.

In therapy parlance, the three episodes were relived by the client. Reliving is the process of re-experiencing the past but with the mind of the adult. The client is mentally here and there at the same time which we term as elliptical consciousness. The adult completely immerses himself in the youth’s ocean of thoughts and emotions and allowing him to reframe the incident; to see it from a different perspective and heal from it.

Lights, Camera, Action!

Hypnodrama follows the reliving of the childhood events and it’s a drama because the mental skit is completely made up. Nonetheless, it offers the mind the enormous opportunity for a huge emotional relief.

Brandi Alexandra / Unsplash

Back in the safe space, I guided him to invite his younger selves and the main characters who made him feel like an outcast.

Standing in front of his younger selves, the adult Jared counselled every one of them. A simplified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping was done to release pent up emotions and in no time at all, tears came flowing like a river. Call me schadenfreude but I love seeing tears because they are a sign of emotional release. Tears tell me I’m right on track. The mental release from the counselling is great but emotional release is beyond awesome.

Suddenly he remarked “it’s bright now”. Night had given way to day. The metaphorical mind signals that the issue is thoroughly healed. It’s done and dusted.

As his teenage selves sobbed, they threw down their glasses and grew muscular (he’s naturally lean). Just as night turned to day, the physical transformation told me that Jared had regained the confidence to look (related to when he looked longingly at his crush) forward and not feel daunted by challenges ahead.

Following the tearful episode, he turned to his classmates in the safe space who were elated to meet him in this joyful reunion. They excitedly cheered him on for the amazing transformation into the confident person he is today. Similar to the earlier counselling of his younger selves, “talking it out” with the main cast often culminates in a mental and sometimes emotional release.

Feel Like A Boss Anytime, Anywhere

Apart from playing therapist, I wear the hats of a detective, coach and counsellor. In the flow of the session, I’m like Jared’s best friend, asking every imaginable question to get a handle on the story. I’m a professional busybody in other words.

In the second event, the detective in me asked how he felt as the leader of the group. Shiok! (awesome) he replied. I make a mental note whenever I find such a gem because it would come in handy later.

cottonbro / Pexels

Once more, I guided him back to being the Romeo & Juliet producer, re-experiencing the leadership role, writing the script, assigning roles and telling people what to do. In the midst of the shiok-ness, he anchored it to a spot on the body to replace the low confidence and create a trigger point. Anytime and anywhere, touching the spot sends the shiok feelings rushing back. A past event becomes a valuable resource in his life today.

Before exiting the scene, he cheekily revealed that his crush kissed him in the finale. Finally a happy ending!

Crafting A Desirable Future Outcome

The session ends with a future pace during which the client is taken forward into the future. “You meet a beautiful girl at an event. Imagine how the interaction plays out.” I suggested to Jared. I need not explain how it went.

The session ended with a new belief to replace the old: The more beautiful she is, the more deserving he is, the more she would tend to like him.

Instant Results

I normally ask if the client felt a shift 1 week after the session. To my surprise, Jared saw results much sooner than expected!

I received this the very next day:

A week later, I asked if he had felt further shifts:

The subconscious mind is the seat of all our joys and pains, strengths and weaknesses, feelings and beliefs. Hypnotherapy is the tool that speaks directly to this part of the mind. With the guidance of a therapist, the client heals himself.

How long did it take to resolve nearly 20 years of pain? Two hours.

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