Occasionally, parents request hypnotherapy for their child. I must confess, I’m often hesitant to work with children for one primary reason: they are usually not willing participants who are coerced into therapy by their parents.
Their ability for the child to express themselves is another barrier. Command of the spoken language is crucial.
Nonetheless, I understand the parents’ concerns and attempt to accommodate their requests under one condition. I always ask, “Is your child willing to come for therapy and has she explicitly told you so?” I proceed only if the answer is a clear yes.
Why Clients Must Be Willing Participants in Therapy
This is paramount. If a client is forced into therapy, they are likely to resist, rendering the session ineffective.
Two criteria must be met for a client to be a willing participant in therapy.
First, the client must recognise they have a problem. As a parent, you might believe your child has an attitude issue that needs addressing, but your child may think everything is fine. No amount of coercion will change this.
Second, the client must have the desire to resolve the issue. Some people lack the motivation to heal. They are aware of their problem but prefer to remain in their comfort zone. Consider the elderly you see with a limp or a hunchback. These conditions are treatable, yet they choose to live with them.
Adults who approach me typically meet both criteria by the time we meet in the therapy space.
Other Factors That Affect The Session Outcome
Articulation Skills
Adults generally articulate well, so this is rarely an issue. Children, however, often lack the vocabulary to express themselves or are too shy to speak up.
John, a secondary school student, was mostly silent during our sessions, offering brief responses to my questions. Progress was slow as I had to probe extensively to understand the bullying he faced at school and his feelings towards his bullies. Despite the challenges, we saw positive results, though the sessions could have been more effective.
Compliance to Therapeutic Suggestions
Compliance with my suggestions is crucial. As a therapist, I cannot control the client. Parents often mistakenly believe I can simply make their child heal. In reality, the child heals themselves; I merely facilitate the process.
Violet, a primary school student, was bullied by her former best friend. Being quiet and gentle, she bottled up her emotions until they overwhelmed her.
During our session, Violet initially refused to close her eyes, turning the session into a talk therapy session. Eventually, I convinced her to participate. She also hesitated to vent her frustrations at the bully, not wanting to “hurt” her in her mind.
Though I felt that the session was not entirely successful, her mom later reported positive changes.
Perhaps what my teacher said was true: therapy occurs in spite of the therapist.
Privacy During Sessions
Parents being concerned for their charge, often wish to be present during therapy. However, this is highly discouraged. The child may not feel safe if a parent is in the room so they might withhold crucial information.
I only allow a parent to be present during the intake to help articulate the child’s problem. Once the session begins, the parent must leave the room so the child can freely express themself.
The Amazing Story of Raj’s Recovery
Raj was an 11-year-old boy, kind, gentle, and soft-spoken. His eyes would light up whenever we discussed his favourite subject.
Despite being one third the age of the adults I usually work with, Raj showed remarkable maturity and a positive outlook on life. He had a resilient spirit and was determined to overcome his bedwetting problem, or enuresis. He was raring to start therapy.
It was his mother who initially approached me for help. As always, my first question was, “Is he willing to come for therapy?” She confirmed that he was, so I agreed to take him on.
When working with children, I adopt a gentler approach to avoid discouraging them from therapy. I also shorten the duration of sessions to match their shorter attention spans.
Raj, however, was an exception. His ability to articulate his thoughts and express his feelings far surpassed what one would expect from a child. While I still treated him with the sensitivity appropriate for his age, I could afford to loosen up and pose more adult-like questions.
By the third session, I was thrilled to learn that his enuresis had completely resolved. In its place was a sense of liberation and renewed confidence.
Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way
Parents, I understand you are at your wit’s end, and what I’ve shared might not seem encouraging.
Don’t worry. Let your child try therapy if they are willing. They must meet the first two crucial criteria: awareness of their problem and a desire to overcome it. If they do, Radiant Flow therapists are here to help.
The remaining factors are not insurmountable. Storytelling and leveraging a child’s vivid imagination are effective ways to navigate their limitations.
Rest assured, the hypnotherapist will handle these aspects.
I have had several successful cases with children, proving it is indeed a viable therapy option.
Let’s explore options over a call so don’t hesitate to contact us. It’s a FREE 15-min discovery call and there’s no obligation.
Photo credits: Kindel Media, Monstera Production, cottonbro studio
