This article was written with passion by hand, not AI.
My hypnotherapy client Laura sought my help with her emotions. She constantly felt deeply negative, affecting her mood and sleep to the point of needing sleeping pills.
Her troubles stemmed from unfair treatment by her own family since childhood—an emotional trauma spanning decades.
Laura Tried Talk Therapy
Like many, Laura pursued the conventional route of counselling and psychiatric visits. “There was no resolution,” she lamented.
Counselling often involves mentorship or tailored advice from the counsellor. Laura recounted a session where “the counsellor told me to ignore them (her family). I know that but I just can’t!”
She was witnessing the power of the subconscious mind.
How Your Mind Gets Programmed
When a child is born, consciousness is minimal. His glossy eyes stare into space, barely aware of your presence, unable to respond consciously.
What you observe in a newborn is pure, pristine subconscious mind. Everything he does is programmed reflex action. He suckles, sleeps, cries, and poops by instinct.
Conscious awareness develops as he grows, but the subconscious mind remains dominant. Simplistic things make him laugh; mild unpleasantness causes a meltdown. It’s illogical and irrational because he lacks conscious control over subconscious emotions.
The subconscious mind is a powerful programmable computer with one distinct feature: it cannot differentiate between fantasy and reality. When it learns something, it absorbs it entirely, without question.
This is why children often mirror their parents and caregivers. Ever heard a friend say, “You’re just like your mum!”? This is because, during a child’s formative years, it absorbs its mother’s behaviour unquestioningly, whether good or bad.
Now you can safely tell your friend, “You’re like your mom too!” 🤭
It may seem like a flaw, but in reality, it’s a survival mechanism allowing a child to quickly adapt to their environment. A city-dwelling child receives different programming from a child in a forest-dwelling tribe because their needs differ.
A tribal child must quickly learn to stay safe among wild animals and hunt. The best teachers are the adults skilled in these tasks, just as you’d learn the piano from a piano teacher. Imagine the chaos if the immature mind of a child picked and chose what to learn!
Also, the subconscious mind, controlling more than 90% of your body and mind, automates breathing, digestion, blood circulation, and routine tasks. If you had to manage all that consciously, you wouldn’t be able to live your life.
The subconscious mind is your ally, not your enemy. Negative programming is the culprit that hurts you and that, my friend, is what you need to eliminate.
The Limitations of Willpower
If you’ve read my work before, you’ll know I often downplay willpower.
Don’t misunderstand. Willpower is a vital faculty of the human mind. It allows us to act consciously rather than being driven by instinct. It makes us human. Conscious willpower is a divine gift unique to humans.
However, raw conscious willpower is limited. When pitted against raw subconscious power, the latter usually prevails.
Keep in mind that the subconscious mind helps with daily tasks like the following. Pardon the programming language; I’m programmed this way. 😉
if I finish dinner, eat dessert else if there’s still food in the bowl, continue eating else brush teeth
The “dinner” software marvellously helps you through the meal but this awful one you learned from your parents is harmful.
if child throws tantrum, get into a rage else ignore child
Instead of beating the subconscious into submission via willpower, you will want to gently reprogram it. Hypnosis is the programming tool you want.
Laura’s Swift and Complete Recovery
By now, you understand why Laura said in exasperation, “The counsellor told me to ignore them (her family). I know that but I just can’t!”
Her conscious mind knows that it should let go. It’s logical. It’s rational. It makes complete sense! But her subconscious mind dutifully ran the old software as-is and was in dire need of an upgrade because it had been inadvertently ruining her quality of life.
Despite her best efforts to will her way out of it, when her guard was down, the old programs overrode her willpower.
In our sessions, we explored her past to relive old trauma. It’s uncomfortable, but essential for complete healing. Think of it like rubbing a bruise to disperse blood clots. It hurts to high heavens but is necessary for full recovery.
Once we addressed the root cause of her resentment, she began to live “a happier normal life” and no longer “dwelt on issues for weeks,” as she put it. Her mood and sleep improved. Goodbye, insomnia.
Not only did her life return to normalcy, but she also felt better than she had in 15 years! Anti-ageing, anyone? As a result, she found the courage to disengage from her family and pursue a flourishing career.
Finally, Laura can “really live life afresh!” Marvellous, isn’t it?
Watch the video interview with Laura for the full story
And this is what we do at Radiant Flow.
Photo credits: Andrea Piacquadio, Timur Weber, James Harrison, Filip Mroz, Anthony Tran
