Trauma Shaped Our Beliefs, Including Yours
The recent therapy sessions in my practice revolved around the theme of childhood trauma and it struck a chord in me. Trauma isn’t necessarily caused by physical hardship and abuse. Even something as minor as being ignored or being reprimanded qualifies as a trauma or micro-trauma, if you will.
Nobody Can Be Trusted
One client’s case calls out to me. From a young age, his parents repeatedly made empty promises leading him to conclude that nobody could be trusted. Can you imagine harbouring this thought at a tender age of 3? Illogical it may sound but remember, children lack the emotional tools to handle negativity. Children associate a negative event with the very first thing that comes to mind.
Over and over again, his parents unconsciously made empty promises that led to constant disappointment. The belief that “nobody can be trusted” gradually evolved from a pencil etch to a core belief engraved in stone. The strong distrust developed at a young age resulted in the lifelong need to control everything in his life – people and outcomes alike.
Is it his fault? No. Is it his parents’ fault? Likely not because they learned it from their parents. Blaming doesn’t help because you give away personal power as a victim. Simply recognise that the responsibility lies within you to neutralise this belief once and for all. Through self-reflection, my client gained awareness of this unproductive belief and led him to seek help for it.
Believe it or not, all of us, and I’m not even exaggerating, harbour similar beliefs that float in a sea of negative flotsam. They reside in our library of subconscious thoughts which run (or ruin) our day-to-day life. Daily self-reflection or meditation draws them to your conscious attention enabling conscious resolution thereafter.
My Clients, My Teachers
Studying to be a therapist taught me to be a conscious parent. At first, it made me wonder what kind of trauma had I been inflicting on my child! It sounds rather harsh on myself but my newfound understanding of child psychology helps me be a better and more responsible parent. I want the buck to stop with me. My trauma shall not be my child’s trauma but boy, it’s truly hard work.
To put it another way, my clients remind me to live mindfully and be mentally and emotionally present to my children, not just physically. My clients teach me a lesson in parenting.
To be honest, I never thought I’d learn so much from my clients. Seeing the ear-to-ear smile on my client and hearing their positive feedback after the session is satisfying beyond words. I’m truly honoured to be in a role where I can help people heal their psychological wounds and better myself at the same time.
No other type of work offers such satisfaction and I LOVE doing it!
PS. A big thank you to my client for allowing me to present this case.